Rockets of Desire Part I

I haven't posted much because I've been out doing lots of living in the moment, experiencing, and having revelations. Now I think I'm ready to record them.

I need to tell this story backwards, though. And how it all started with an in-room massage where I work.

I was giving an in-room massage to the Mexican nanny of some resort guests. So the cozy atmosphere was already rich with generosity, love and sweetness from people who were loving and appreciating someone dear to them. There was background music coming through the TV, set on a channel that played a sort of eclectic blend of soft rock/easy listening stuff. Suddenly, the opening chords to Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love" came on. It jarred me out of my "zone" I slip into as I'm working, and immediately the board members in my head started discussing.

Member1: Heh...there's a song we used to love when we were all Pollyanna Idealist about deep & profound romantic love.

Member2: Yeah! Songs like that sure don't mean a f-ing thing anymore, do they? It's all fluff and sunshine...and infatuation.

Member3: *quietly contemplates opening her mouth...goes for it* I still believe.

Members 1 & 2: *aghast* WHAT?

Member3: You know we want to love again. And in order to do it, we have to believe. We have to make a conscious choice to smile in the face of recent adversity and believe it's out there...and that we'll find it. So we have to believe in this song.

Member2: She has a point.

Member1: Yeah, well what man has ever felt feelings for you, like the ones in this song, and done so consistently?

Member3: None...but do you really want to walk around as this bitter person who let some unworthy mates ruin her whole life experience? Does that sound very smart?

Member2: That is pretty defeatist, dude.

Member1: Fine. You two go ahead, and I'll just hang back and watch and pretend to believe...until I really feel it again one day.


And so, at that precise moment, I chose to believe again. I began to read my new book "Ask and It Is Given" about manifesting desires. The book tells me that Source (their word for God etc..) wants nothing but your happiness, and when you ask, what you desire is on the way. But it also cautions about one's internal dialogue. It urges us not to think about all the things that didn't work, and what we don't want...lest we attract that back into our life, because we're giving it so much energy.

The book calls this "sending rockets of desire" into the universe, and to keep feeling the feelings one would feel upon getting these things. This raises vibrational levels and opens the door so things can come in.

So, the launches began. I became very clear about what I wanted, and every so often, I stated what I wanted in my head. I felt the feelings of what it's like to have them. Not just in the way of lifemates, but book publishing and living arrangements as well.

Hora de bailar

So after five years of saying I wanted to do it, talking about doing it, browsing the classes in the classified section, then talking some more...then not having time to do it, then not having money to do it...I finally just did it.

Thanks to my mom's generous little Christmas gift she slipped into my purse on my way to the airport last December, I had money to take a series of salsa dance classes.

Someone recommended a cute little studio downtown where they teach all kinds of Latin & miscellaneous dances, and the teacher is not only fantastic, but quirky and hilarious, too.

To my surprise, there were more men in the class than women--and many were single, not just dragged there by an eager and insistent wife.

There's no better partner with which to learn, than a man who is a strong leader. Salsa is a complicated enough dance as it is, and the men have to do the hardest work. They have to drive. They have to hold their hand a certain way to let you know which way you'll be turning. They have to start the rhythm going, they must initiate the next steps you'll be doing together.

Go men! You all rock!

I have to say, there are really no words to describe the feeling I get when I hit that point of the steps flowing naturally. In no time, the quick-quick-slow of the salsa becomes just the music, moving my body where it wants...



It feels so thrilling to be able to follow right along with what my partner is doing, to move in perfect synch, be spun around in a complicated series of twirls and then end up eye to eye with him, hand lightly on his shoulder--and he winks and says, "Nice!"

Salsa is such a close, warm, and sensual movement...and a great chance to get all up next to strange (and mostly handsome) men in a totally appropriate and safe way.

And best of all...it's so freeing and wonderful for the body and soul.

So thank you Mom, thank you awesome male leaders in the class, and a BIG thanks to Cuba, where Salsa has most of its origins!