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Monday, April 17, 2006

We Will Rise Again...and again...and again

Easter Sunday. The very mention of it makes my spirit soar. It conjures images of sun bursting through clouds, souls rising, death being conquered, and pure love being lavished upon humankind by its Higher Power.

When I was a practicing Catholic, Lent/Easter used to be a monumental time of renewal for me. Rather than do the whole "give something up" thing, I focused on patterns in my life I could do to make myself an even better person. Ways to take care of my body, mind and spirit. Sometimes I just do that anyway, no matter what time of year it is. Every once in awhile, there are symbolic "deaths" in our life, and then we rise again--reborn into a new aspect of ourselves, of life, of a way of thinking...the possibilities are endless.

I decided I wanted to do my C&E Catholic thing (Christmas and Easter, for those who've never heard of that) and go to Mass. I found a very contemporary parish right down the street from my apartment, that played contemporary music (digitally enhanced to make the guitarist and vocalist sound like a whole band). It was strange going back to Mass after being away from it an entire year. Some of the rituals and spiritual truths still fed my soul...but when the dogma reared its ugly head, it reminded me of just how much going back to that religion feels like a grad student stepping back into the fifth grade or something. I have embraced so many higher levels of enlightenment about what God is, about the Oneness of everyone...about manifesting our own wellbeing and desires...

But the whole meaning of Easter still grabbed me. Conquering death, rising again...they played all my favorite "rise again" songs, and songs that I hadn't heard in years...I reconnected with a part of myself that I didn't know was so deeply ingrained. It felt healing...after existing in this land so far away from my old life and my Clan.

And boy was I homesick this weekend. Melanie and I saw an ensemble of musicians jamming in a park this week--using all the familiar bluegrass instruments that my family used whenever they'd get together for a songfest on holidays/vacations etc.. I couldn't even stand next to them very long before having a total meltdown. It was the sound of "home" and family.

Being far away from my family, to whom I'm VERY close...was a huge price to pay for adventure and change. I still don't regret it, but man is it ever hard sometimes.

So, before trudging off to work on Easter Sunday (rather than kicking back and enjoy my family, as I've done for years and years) I called my mom's house where they were all gathered and asked them all say hello. It felt so soothing to my heart and soul. Their voices were like a chorale. I got to talk to a few people individually before my cell phone cut out, and it sincerely helped me get through the rest of the day.

Tonight, as I reflect on all this, I know that every new day can be a rebirth. A resurrection. I will leave you with this prayer by Marianne Williamson that I always used to use as a mantra, upon waking up.

God, thank you for this new day...it's beauty, it's light...thank you for my chance to begin again. Free me from the limitations of yesterday. Today, may I be reborn. May I be more fully a reflection of your grace and beauty. Show me the light in myself and others. Let me know deep peace, so that I may serve you more deeply. Amen.


Tomorrow I am sending ten submission packages to publishers, containing all the materials for the children's book I created with an artist. I have all the hope in the world that this book will go on to serve children, parents and teachers everywhere. If it be for the highest good of all involved, let it happen.

Namaste.

2 Comments:

Blogger Randy from RP said...

Good luck Alex...( fingers crossed here)

4:09 PM  
Blogger redpig77 said...

Good Luck and That is how I feel about Easter, too. May your Easter be about rebirth in all senses of life.

8:28 PM  

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