Thoughts On a November Night

It's the day after Thanksgiving, 2005. I've been doing lots of reflecting in the past week. Life is vastly different these days...than it's ever been before.

Thanksgiving was usually brisk and chilly all my life in the Midwest. Thanksgiving was having my mom's house (or a nearby sibling's house) jammed with family members laughing, talking, joking, having musical jam sessions, singing...and eating. I'm pretty sure this was the first Thanksgiving I wasn't there doing all that with them, living so far away.

Thanks to my two dearest friends in my new city, who I feel very blessed and fortunate to have in my life, I got to have a small, cozy dinner with them. We all contributed toward the cooking, and afterward we watched Mad Hot Ballroom--a documentary about New York City gradeschoolers (wise beyond their years) learning ballroom dancing in their inner city schools, then taking it all the way to a citywide competition. It was an amazing film and gave me hope in America's youth.


Today I walked to the beach after work and was greeted by a pounding, invigorating surf kicked up by high winds. The sun set as I stood on a high rock and felt the wind rush over me and tousle my hair. I sung a few songs to the ocean, in return for its rejuvenation and power and beauty. I love how empty the beach is, sometimes...just me, the waves and my Higher Power. After existing in the moment for a long while, I walked back up to my little apartment on the Mesa.

This was a good, good day. Because lately I've been questioning my purpose for moving across the country. Wondering, "Okay, exactly WHY did I move here again?" The answers--the true reasons--have yet to reveal themselves. I need to draw from the well of Patience now more than ever in my life. And I've been to that well more times than I care to speak of. Truth be told, I'm a little tired of that fracking well.


But I have a lot to be grateful for, in this season of gratitude. For a lovely little apartment, for the current abundance in my life that enables me to live in it, and reside in one of the most beautiful cities in our country, for the new friends I'm making, for the milestones I'm reaching in my writing career, for my health, for the satisfaction of helping so many people feel more relaxed and healthy, for the love of friends and family, near and far, for being a strong woman who's survived many heartaches and hardships, for the ability to love unconditionally and with all my heart, and to let myself be loved, for all the spiritual tools I've been given to cope and thrive in this beautiful world and crazy life...and for the grace that comes from seemingly nowhere--just when I need it most.