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Location: Ohio, United States

I am on a fantastic journey, embracing life with everything I've got!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

More Livin', Less Talkin'

My post title explains my absence.

There is a lot going on in my life right now, and words just get in the way sometimes. Some of it's pleasant, some of it's not.

Outside my window, a strong wind is blowing palms and greenery and trees around. There are whitecaps on the ocean. A big front is blowing in, and it will rain tomorrow. For now, it's just windy, cool and sunny. I'm enjoying the lovely view of the sea while I have it...because my next goal is downsizing to a cheaper dwelling, so I have more money with which to enjoy my life here in California. And to travel and visit other friends...(in the PNW, BHD!) I am trying to visualize and believe in a dwelling just as nice as this one, only $400-500 cheaper. I know I will find it.

I'm once again putting off going to church. I did find a nice new-agey church here with spirit-filled people....but I have really been enjoying my laid-back Sunday mornings of solitude, writing and reflection rather than having to get ready and be somewhere. I'm always in touch with my Higher Power, so I guess I can do that anywhere.

My routine beach walks (and Salsa classes) have sadly been interrupted by an annoying case of tendinitis in the back of my knees and the side of my left ankle. I may have to visit an alternative-medicine guy a coworker recommended--but then again, a friend told me yesterday sometimes these things can be taken care of by rest, ice and stretching. We'll see...I'm trying not to give in the the belief that just because I'm getting older and I'm in a physically demanding career, that aches and pains are inevitable. I can create well-being in my body and life. Dammit.


My mom's memory loss is worsening...some more. My siblings are holding yet another family meeting about getting some Visiting Angels (home care folks) to stay with her part time, while the rest of the family fills in the gaps. That way, nothing dangerous can happen to her, and she can still afford to stay in the comfort of her own home. I hope that's what works from now until she dies--cause my mom doesn't have very many attachments in this world, but she does cherish her homestead and the big, beautiful backyard outside the window. The home where I grew up. One day, though, I won't have a "home" to go back to, and that makes me sadder than words can even express.

Which brings me to the thoughts I've been pondering very heavily, of late. My continued existence in the Golden State. As long as I'm looking for a new man in my life, why not find one closer to home? Asheville, NC was my first choice of places to move--it's a huge Bodywork and Holistic capital, it's got milder weather than Ohio (and mountains!) and only a day's drive to my family.

I joined a matchmaking website, just for fun...and have created a search for the greater Asheville area, just to see...and there appears to be a healthy bunch of southern gentlemen still looking for Ms. Right. Lord knows, the California guys I email aren't responding...yet.

I do love California, though. In fact, there are many places here I wish to visit while I'm living here, which is why I have GOT to eventually find a cheaper house and some sort of massage job where it's not so GOT DAMN HARD to get time off.

And finally, my writing. I don't know what I would do without it...I am very much trying to manifest it as the principle source of abundance in my life--and according to recent astrology reports, I think the Universe says, "Sure, go for it!" An agent is still reviewing my novel, and my children's book project is nearly ready to submit.

So this if my life, at present. It seems no matter how much I stay in the moment and enjoy little pieces of life here and there...there will always be that missing piece that Jen talked about. That huge question mark hanging over my life. In the words of one of my favorite U2 songs..."I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

But I will keep walking and smiling. Because the little pieces are what keep me going.


Blogger David said...

I pray you find your peace, Lexi; wherever it may be.

12:42 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Lexie, God bless you in all that you do. You are a beautiful,Wonderful Human being and I know God has great plans for your life..*hugs*

10:28 AM  
Blogger winter said...

You're the best, Lexie. You're a wonderful person and a dear friend, and I don't say these things lightly.

Good things are coming.


12:53 AM  
Blogger newwavegurly said...

It happens rarely, but I'm sort of at a loss for words after reading this.

I guess I'll just say that there are many of us that love you, and we know that there are plenty of good things still yet to happen for you, my friend.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Lexi we all have reasons to be where we are at any given time. The trick is to not stare too hard at them. Or disect them too much. Sometimes we just aren't supposed to know what its going to bring. Your writing is key right now. and its good to see you both excited about the project.

I am glad to see you in action. and when its successful, you can fly your ass home. :hug:

6:45 PM  
Blogger Sophie T. Mishap said...

You and your family are in my prayers, Lexie. There is so much to digest in this post. Strength, hope, love. I'm glad you love California - it's just that perfect a fir for you. Also, I'm so happy to hear about the progress on your children's book. Can't wait to see it. :)

9:44 AM  

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